Crazy Love Hina!
by fatyao
Summary: Keitaro one day randomly decides to confess to each of the girls. But random things always gets in the way.... contains massive randomness.


A/N This is a oneshot that somehow came from my mind for no particular reason. I don't know why it came out, but I think it had something to do with all the yogurt I've been drinking. Enjoy.

No characters here belong to me, now go ahead.

One day Keitaro Urashima randomly decided to confess his love to Naru Narusegawa just like the author of this story randomly decided to write it. Keitaro and Naru's relationship had been improving and Keitaro, who had always been in love with Naru, was prepared to confess.

He walked up to her room with a bunch of flowers and knocked. Naru opened the door.

"Hey Naru, I've got to say…" Keitaro said nervously, "THAT I LOVE YOU!!!!"

Naru gasped in shock. She froze. She couldn't move. This was something so random that even the author of this fic didn't even know it was coming.

"T-t-thank you Keitaro, but…."

Keitaro froze. He knew that 'but' meant something very very bad. Maybe she was dating someone else? _NOOOOOOOOOOOO _Keitaro screamed in his mind.

"I'm sorry Keitaro but…." She repeated.

Keitaro didn't know if he wanted to hear what she was about to say.

"I'm gay." Naru said with a blush.

"WHHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!" Keitaro nearly fainted. That's right, Naru just admitted that she was a lesbian.

"Keitaro, I'm sorry but I'm a lesbian."

"Wha? Wha? With who?"

"With a random girl on the street named Leslie."

"Oh. Well. Cya later!"

"Sorry Keitaro, but we can still be friends right?" Naru smiled and said "You're welcome to watch us anytime you want!"

Keitaro didn't seem sad. In fact he was happy. Very happy. His dark fantasy had come true. _Screw it! I don't care if I loved her! She's a lesbian! COOL! The promise girl of my dreams is a lesbian! AWESOME!_ He went off to replenish the blood coming out of his nose then spied on Naru for the rest of the day. More like taped Naru for the rest of the day.

"Ok Plan B!" Keitaro walked out of his room and went to Mutsumi's room. He knocked on the door.

"Hey Kei-kun, What's up?"

"Mutsumi-san… I LOVE YOU!" Keitaro screamed for the second time that day.

"O Kei-kun! I'm sorry but…"

"But what?"

"My doctor said that I'm gonna die today." Mutsumi said and then she died. From a heart attack or something. It was sad.

"…. Ok on to Plan C!" Keitaro stepped over Mutsumi's dead body and walked to Shinobu's room.

"Hey Shinobu! I LOVE YOU!" Keitaro screamed for the third time that day.

"Oh Sempai!" Shinobu hugged him but then she stepped back "I'm sorry but my mom and dad sold me to a pimp to be a whore. I'm moving out. Bye!" Shinobu ran off with some leather clothes.

"Damnit! Ok ok, plan d!" Keitaro walked into Motoko's room.

"Hey Motoko-chan! I would like to train with you today!" Keitaro said.

"Sure Urashima!" Then Motoko and Keitaro went up onto the balcony to start training. After a while, Keitaro gathered up some courage and said….

"MOTOKO! I LOVE YOU!"

"Wha?" Motoko seemed surprised. Not as surprised as the author of this fic but very surprised.

"Urashima… I'm sorry but I'm engaged…." Motoko blushed.

"You? Engaged? To who?"

"I'm engaged to Tama-chan and I'm also having an incestuous affair with my sister, Tsuruko. Sorry." Motoko walked off holding Tama-chan's flipper. How Motoko got over her fear of turtles was unknown. How she got in an affair with her sister can be read in perverted hentai mangas from all over the world.

Keitaro first thought of the image of Motoko and Tama-chan. Then Motoko and Tsuruko. His nose erupted in a flash of blood.

"Okay…. Plan E!" Keitaro walked over to Su's room and opened it. Su fell down dead from some invention that she made. It looked like she was cut up.

"OhMyGod!" Keitaro freaked. "What an awful smell!" He closed the door and went off to Kitsune's room.

"Time for Plan F!" He opened the door to Kitsune's room and yelled out "I LOVE YOU KITSUNE! AND I WILL LEND YOU SOME MONEY IF YOU GO OUT WITH ME!"

Kitsune popped up wearing a habit.

"Sorry Keitaro, but the author of this fic randomly decided for me to be a nun. I can't go out with anyone, and I'll be broke for the rest of my life. Bye!" She stumbled off to a church somewhere.

"Dammit! Even my backup plan failed! I'm going to die a lonely death!" Keitaro cried and pulled out a revolver to shoot himself. But he couldn't die. "Dammit! I'm immortal! I can't die! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Keitaro continued to live as the manager of Hinata-sou. Naru got married with a random girl on the street. Her name is irrelevant. Mutsumi was left to rot in her room along with her beloved watermelons. Shinobu is still a whore. But she got AIDs or a cold. I forgot which. Motoko is married happily with Tama-chan. She has a son. It's a teenage mutant ninja turtle. She still has an affair with Tsuruko. Su was revived and became a horrible flesh-eating zombie. She's on display in a zoo. Kitsune is still a nun.

And the author of this story just killed about 10 minutes and relieved some boredom. Great. You just wasted some time when you could be doing something really valuable. Great.

EXTRA SCENE!!! The mysterious Master of this World (AKA Bored Writer of this fic) forgot about several other female characters in Love Hina, and has been added for your enjoyment. So enjoy!

Extra Scene 1 – Kanako

Keitaro walked up to his little sister Kanako one day and screamed out of nowhere "KANAKO, I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE MY LITTLE SISTER!!!"

Kanako froze. She had tried for the better part of the year to get her brother's attention and one day he randomly decides to confess to her? This was her dreams come true.

"Oni-chan, I'm sorry, but since I couldn't get you, I already turned to other family members to fill my incestuous desires. I'm sure you met Uncle Bob, Cousin Charley, your dad, and grandpa!" Kanako said as she pulled most of the males in Keitaro's family out of nowhere. Then they had an orgy.

"……..Ummm…I'll…I'll just come back later" Keitaro said and bolted out off the room.

Extra Scene 2 – Tsuruko

One day, after Tsuruko's marriage challenge with Keitaro and Motoko, Keitaro randomly decided that he had feelings for Tsuruko. So after appearing up at the Aoyama dojo, he knocked on the door and Tsuruko answered.

"TSURUKO! I LOVE YOU!!!!"

"Oh my…Manager-san, I greatly appreciate your feelings but the truth is, I'm not only having an affair with my sister, she also got me pregnant.

"…. What? Is that biologically possible?"

"Yes."

"So, one of you is…a futanari?"

"…Yes"

"Is it you?"

"No"

"Oh dear god then its Motoko???"

"Yes."

"HOLY SHIT! I JUST CONFESSED MY LOVE TO A PERSON WITH A DICK! I'M GAY! AAAAAAHHHHH!" Keitaro screamed and grabbed a knife from nowhere.

"Please put down the knife. It's not worth killing yourself over. We're all a little gay deep down inside…"

"AAAAAHHHH!" was all Keitaro said before he stabbed himself. He collapsed, sputtering blood all over the floor.

"Oh my, that'll be hard to clean."

(Okay, that was the most random one I did so far. I didn't even expect that one.)

Extra Scene 3 – Haruka

Keitaro walked into Haruka's teashop, which was filled with customers. Haruka seemed really busy, carrying about 3 trays loaded with tea. Keitaro walked up to her and randomly kissed her.

"AUNT HARUKA! I LOVE YOU!" Keitaro shouted.

"REALLY? ME TOO!" Haruka blushed and hugged Keitaro. And then she pulled out a .50AE Desert Eagle from nowhere. "But I told you to **never** call me Aunt. Your punishment is your death."

She emptied an entire clip, blasting both Keitaro's genitals (the part that is in control of his body) and his brain (the part that creates all of his perverted images.).

After the brutal murdering between family members, the teahouse returned to normal and everyone continued sipping their tea.

End bonus scenes. Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
